Sorrow & Sadness
by TheAprilFool
Summary: During the day Naruto Uzamaki acted like his usual hyperactive self. But upon leaving the training field the relationship between Sakura and Sasuke are having a greater effect than any suspect... SasuSaku, Onesided NaruSaku
1. Chapter 1

_NARUTO_

SORROW & SADNESS

CHAPTER ONE

_Has it really been that long?_ Naruto Uzamaki wondered as he sat on his bed. He was staring at the calendar checking the days. And why did he care how long? It didn't concern him did it? He looked over at the picture on his table. His apartment was only one big room plus the bathroom. It was empty due to his lack of money. No one would give the 'demon' kid a job. In fact he only had one mattress and a table with one chair. Two cups and one set of silverware. He hadn't had a family like other kids. He had grown up in this apartment. Barely able to afford it with the fund he got from Konoha's fund for people like Naruto… for orphans.

He hadn't been himself in the past month. He kept thinking about his feelings. Ever since he was young and he had stood alone on that playground he had promised to become the greatest Hokage. The greatest leader of the village! But his dreams had taken a backseat to these feelings now. He let a small smile come when he remembered later on in his life when he started pulling pranks. He remembered being the one always falling or saying weird things on purpose. Although he was really a good student he didn't try. He didn't care. He wanted someone to notice him. The smile faltered as he remembered how several times he had messed up on accident and how people had treated him.

'YOU'VE BEEN AT THE ACADEMY FOR THREE YEARS AND YOU CAN'T EVEN TRANSFORM RIGHT!' Iruka Sensei's voice pounded through his head. He remembered the laughter of everyone in the room except for a few people. Sasuke Uchiha was one who didn't laugh. He never laughed at anything. Shino… he just sat in the back being Shino. He was silent and was probably whispering to his bugs about how students like that shouldn't be allowed in.

Naruto stood up and sat down at the table. He remembered how he got his first friend. He had failed the graduation exam again and had been fooled. A man named Mizuki decided to trick him. Iruka Sensei had ended up rescuing him and passing him. While he was at the academy Naruto had always pulled pranks or disrespected Iruka. But he wasn't always acting that way. In fact he spent half the time looking at Sakura. She was a girl in his class who he had cared for, for a long time. But she only cared about Sasuke Uchiha!

Sasuke, Sakura, and Naruto ended up joining the same Genin team under Hatake Kakashi, also known as the Copy Ninja. Naruto looked at the small picture of himself with the rest of the team. He didn't smile this time at the memories. Instead he set the photo down so he couldn't see it. He sighed remembering a month ago. He had been carefree then. No worries no cares. In fact his day was almost normal. Until the late evening…

Naruto had finished paying for his meal at the ramen bar and had walked off home. He didn't have anything to do so he decided to go and train at the site of his first test under Kakashi. When he arrived he had begun to unpack when he heard a voice behind him.

"What are you doing?" It asked. He didn't answer but turned around to see Sasuke. He just sighed and picked his backpack up.  
"Nothing, I guess." He said. He hadn't wanted the company at this time since he wanted to practice a new technique. Sasuke smiled slightly but his eyes never changed giving the impression of someone with a devious plot.

"I know you didn't come here for nothing." He told Naruto. Naruto just began to walk away. He didn't want Sasuke to see his new technique since it involved the chakra of the demon within him. Sasuke had begun taunting him about being frightened and even though it shouldn't have bothered him, it did. He began yelling at Sasuke and it began a fight. And that fight got out of hand. No one even saw Sakura walking onto the place. She was looking for a quiet place to think. At first she didn't notice them because they were in the trees. Neither of them noticed her. Sasuke used a Genjutsu (illusionary technique) and left his hiding place. Naruto knew it was a trick but lost Sasuke. He had seen a figure sitting at the three tree trunks. He automatically assumed it was Sasuke! And he aimed a Kunai and threw it!


	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

She was ok in the end but it had really shaken up Naruto. And it had made her angry that they were fighting like that in the first place. Anyone could have shown up and Naruto, as she said (ignoring the fact that Sasuke had a part in it), shouldn't be attacking a target he can't fully see. She had gotten healed up that same day but the fact that Naruto was the first to visit and apologize didn't help. He stopped being anywhere near as loud on missions and even Kakashi asked if he had a fever. Most of them figured it was a stage.

A week later Sasuke, sick of Sakura bugging him, agreed to go someplace with her. Ino was furious, of course. But even though it wasn't much Sakura overrated the whole thing. In fact when describing it to Ino, to make her angry, she even used comparisons against Naruto. Unaware that he was walking home with more ramen, being his favorite and very cheap. Again things changed. No one noticed it this time though. It happened behind the scenes away from their lives. Sakura continued going places with Sasuke, who only went because she would interrupt him from training it he didn't, and no one saw it. Naruto was acting like the same old knucklehead again. But he had stopped looking people in the eyes… or eye in Kakashi's case, seeing how his Sharingan eye was covered up.

Two weeks later everyone but Kakashi, because of his book, noticed that Naruto seemed to lack sleep. He said that everything was ok and was still "hyper" so they ignored it. Sakura was grateful that he wasn't always staring at her anymore but had noticed an odd change in his pronunciations. He usually added the suffix "-chan" to her name but didn't anymore. Either way she was glad he had given up. Not noticing anything other than that… except the fact that he had bags under his eyes.

Naruto sat at the table. It was now two weeks later and Sasuke had "admitted" to being Sakura's boyfriend. Well it was more like she dragged him over to Ino and told her and he had said  
"Hn…." Like he always said. Ino, of course, attacked and both had to be sent to the Hokage's office. Naruto stared at the pictured trying to remember happier moments. She _was_ happy right? Why wasn't he? He admitted to being selfish but couldn't help but think that something was wrong with him. He sat on his bed and looked at the clock. The non-digital readout showed that it was four-thirty. He sighed. Not able to sleep since the accident. He kept on wondering what would have happened it Sasuke hadn't been able to deflect it enough to stop any permanent harm.

Later that morning Naruto was heating up breakfast. Of course it was ramen, as always, but he wasn't really interested. In fact it was only half done when he began to eat it. Afterwards he sighed and walked down to the training field where Kakashi was supposed to supervise more training. They hadn't had any missions in ages. Naruto guessed that he was lucky that he got used to nights without sleep. He wondered if this was how Gaara felt. Gaara was always awake. When he got to the field he saw Sakura snuggling Sasuke, who looked annoyed at the whole deal. Naruto sat down without saying anything and looked at the sky.

"Who are you? Shikamaru?" Asked Sakura. She was a bit annoyed at the lack of a greeting. Naruto nodded.

"I guess so." And he put on his best fake Shikamaru voice.

"The clouds look white today…I mean nice today." Sakura couldn't help but laugh and turned away. Naruto sighed but was careful not to let his smile falter around them.

"Yo!" A certain Jounin (high class ninja) said after two hours. Sasuke's eyes clearly read 'THANK YOU GOD!' and Sakura was clearly disappointed at Kakashi's lateness. Both she and Naruto yelled at him as was customary and he gave them a lame excuse, as always. Naruto bugged him about missions and he surprised them.

"So do we have any missions?" Naruto asked nearly jumping up and down.  
"Yes." Kakashi answered. "A C-rank mission just for us!" Sakura looked happy and Sasuke looked … well like Sasuke. "All of you are to pack for a several night journey." Naruto began asking where but Kakashi had disappeared. Sakura was squealing in delight.

"Several nights away with Sasuke-kun!" She shouted happily. Naruto ran off for home ignoring them and when he got there he actually found himself reluctant to pack. At home he could express any emotion but on a mission it just wasn't right. He didn't want to be around Sakura and Sasuke for twenty-four hours! He felt bad enough about their relationship anyways. And what if someone notices that he doesn't sleep? He sighed and slowly began packing. He had all day since they left tomorrow. He had packed everything except for his weapons. He threw in a few small shuriken and two kunai. He grabbed the third but just looked at it odd. _Why am I so selfish?_ He thought to himself. _Why can't I just be happy for Sakura?_ He sat down on his bed looking at the kunai. He sat there for a few minutes thinking about it. Suddenly he got angry! He let out a scream of confusion and looked up at the picture. _I'm not going to be selfish anymore. _As he thought he slipped his jacket onto the floor and looked at the ceiling. He felt the cool metal against his arm…

Author's Note: The story takes place after episode 101 of Naruto. He can control the Kyuubi's chakra and Tsunade is the Hokage.


	3. Chapter 3

CHATPER THREE

Thanks for the Reviews!

The next day Naruto was careful to keep his sleeves down to hide his arms. The Kyuubi had refused to heal them saying '_If you want to hurt yourself than I don't care!_' Naruto didn't care either. He just wanted to stop envying Sasuke and get on. Sadly it didn't help because when he saw Sasuke and Sakura all the feelings he tried to destroy came back. He acted like himself, with great effort, and when Kakashi came they departed. The mission, as it turns out, was going to the country of the Wave to follow a supposed lead on a criminal who had stolen from several people and even attacked others. Naruto, even though he didn't feel so confident, claimed that he could do the mission alone! He mainly said it because he knew that's what they'd expect. But Sakura, of course, told him that he couldn't even recognize friend from foe and to shut up. He complained and Kakashi ordered them to be quiet. That night they set up camp and Naruto lay alone cursing himself. He thought he had stopped it. He didn't know what to do because he had never experienced this. He wondered if it was how Sasuke felt when he thought of his family. Was this the pain of love?

"_Why beat yourself up? You are only human._" The Demon told him.  
'I can't be so selfish… I mean I do care for how she feels but…' He thought… the Kyuubi sighed.

"_You will always regret that it wasn't you, you baka." _He said. "_It's part of being human! Regardless of how much you care for her feelings you will look at the past and hate it. Stop attacking yourself._"

Naruto refused to talk to the Kyuubi at this point. When he was sure the others were asleep he sat up and fiddled in his backpack.  
"_I know what you are looking for… why can't you listen to me?_" Naruto ignored the fox and pulled out the same blade from the night before. He had to make himself feel different. The Kyuubi stopped talking as Naruto made sure that no one was awake and, for the first time in ages, on the edge of tears…

The next day they continued their walk and nothing out of the ordinary happened in front of the others. The next day followed the same pattern except they had nearly arrived. They made it there on the fourth day of their journey, the bridge made it a bit easier since no one was willing to take them by boat. All throughout the time no one noticed Naruto was careful to keep his arms covered. He didn't speak much while they walked along the bridge. Kakashi assumed it was because of the fight they had fought here a while ago. Against Haku and Zabuza Momochi. They had won but Zabuza was not their enemy in the end. Neither was Haku. Both had died due to Gotou an evil man who had died as well. No one really was happy…well that's not really true seeing how Sakura was happily hanging over Sasuke and Sasuke was trying to ignore her. Naruto just glanced at the ground as he walked. Kakashi sighed and pulled out his book and Sakura noticed and yelled at him. He put it away sadly wanting to read more of the story but didn't want to risk Sakura attacking, as she had taken to doing when he pulled out Come, Come Paradise.

That night they stayed with Tazuna and the whole family was glad to see them. Naruto acted cheerful and Sasuke acted bored. Sakura… well she was comparing herself to any girl who walked around the area trying to make sure that Sasuke wouldn't go after one. Pretty stupid thing to do since Sasuke, clearly, just wanted to think or train. After a while they ate dinner and they went off to explore the town. Sakura dragged Sasuke off and Naruto ran off to find the nearest ramen store… or at least he said he was going to. Instead he sat in an alley and demanded that the Kyuubi heal him.  
"_It's none of my business kid. I only heal unintentional stuff._"  
"You damn fox! Cure me now!" The demon laughed.  
"_Why? So you can do it all again?"_ Naruto sighed. "_Tell you what kid…_" The Kyuubi said. "_Lets make a deal."_ The deal turned out to be that to get the Kyuubi to heal him it either had to be when there was just too many wounds on his arms or when he stops hurting himself altogether.

They all looked around for the thief but he was nowhere to be found. They gave up for that night and stayed at Tazuna's. When eating Naruto remembered the time he and Sasuke had been training. They worked so hard and ended up finishing at the same time. Sakura had already beaten both out though. Inari noticed slight differences in Naruto's actions and words although they sounded perfectly like him to the others. Maybe it was the fact that he was younger and Naruto was his hero or maybe it was some other reason. He asked his grandpa about it but Tazuna didn't notice anything so he figured it must be Naruto growing up and changing as people do. Naruto lay there in bed with his eyes closed. He was awake, of course, but he was hoping to sleep. He wanted to get this horrible experience over with so he could probably talk to someone about it. Maybe Kakashi or even Tazuna. But while he was injured he didn't want to risk it. He didn't want to slip up and show them what he had done to himself. To Tazuna he was a hero and to Kakashi he was a fun loving, yet serious, kid with a lot of potential. He couldn't disappoint either of them like that. He decided to keep it for himself until the Kyuubi healed him. He actually fell asleep for a few minutes but awoke due to more dreams of Sakura and pains he could cause. He sat up and sighed. He looked over at his backpack and shook his head slightly. Even so he found himself getting up and silently walking over to it, despite the fact that he had told himself that he wouldn't do so. He looked at the blade this time and noticed that he hadn't cleaned it in a while. He slowly got up and walked into the bathroom, careful not to wake anyone. He looked at his wounds, six long cuts and scratches on each arm. He rinsed the blade off simply because it'd be suspicious if found. He didn't exit the room but looked at the kunai.  
"_What is this? Again?_" The fox asked. Naruto didn't talk back. He just looked at himself trying to think of another solution. The physical pain usually caused enough pain to help him ignore his internal pain. But not forever, it was not permanent and he knew that.  
"Why?" He asked silently. He didn't understand why he kept going for a temporary solution. But it was the only one he chose to use. He didn't believe that talking would work any better. He looked into his own eyes through the mirror and tried to look at nothing else as he lifted the blade again…

The next morning he pretended to awake and ate breakfast with the others. Then they found the thief at a food stand, surprisingly when going to look for fruit and not the thief. They confronted him and he began running away as fast as he could! Naruto Sakura and Sasuke all gave chase! They caught up and the guy attacked! They dodged it and Naruto leapt into the air and grabbed a pole to pull himself up. But he felt a jab of pain in his arm and let go! He hit the ground and grunted! The guy threw a knife at him and he leapt away but it still cut his arm! He rolled over and made a hand sign.  
"KAGE BUNSHIN NO JUTSU!" He shouted as four Shadow Clones appeared. Naruto chased him… well more than one Naruto did. Sakura and Sasuke caught him even though the guy was able to destroy the clones with well-thrown knives! Naruto swore as he continued to give chase but the pain in his arm was more than he expected. He realized then that it had opened a wound he had given himself the night before. One the Kyuubi refused to heal. He leapt for the guy and attacked but he ended up slipping on a puddle near a fountain. He reached out to grab the fountain and when he did he felt more pain as his movements pulled the wound open more! He fell on the ground and rolled over climbing to his feet holding back any expressions that would reveal that it was more than just one cut. Sakura and Sasuke confronted the guy and captured him surprisingly easy after the performance Naruto gave. Kakashi showed up, late, and identified him. They turned him over to the authorities and Konoha was given its payment. Naruto clutched his right arm, the one that guy hit, as he walked.  
"NARUTO!" Sakura cried when she saw the new wound. "You need to get that looked at!" He shook his head.  
"It'll be fine." He said. Sasuke smirked at him.  
"Not fast enough baka?" He asked. "Seriously that guy was weak. What was up with you?" Naruto ignored him as Sakura started talking again.  
"Come on we have to see how bad it is! Just pull up your sleeve and…"  
"No!" Naruto said angrily. "It'll be fine." Sakura turned to Kakashi who smiled.  
"I think he's right. It's just a cut. And he had worse on our mission here last time." He gave her a wink and then turned around. _Normally Naruto begs for relief when he is not in battle…I wonder what is wrong._


	4. Chapter 4

CHAPTER FOUR

The Kyuubi came through in healing the new cut but not the wound it had opened or the others Naruto had made himself. So Naruto had to pretend all was fine throughout dinner and that night he was laying in bed, the others had gone to their rooms and Naruto sighed.  
"Yo!" Kakashi said. Naruto jumped and turned to him.  
"Kakashi Sensei! What are you doing?" He cried out. Kakashi laughed.  
"I wanted to check on your wound." He said. Naruto sighed.  
"It's all gone." He said. Kakashi didn't fully believe him but nodded anyways.  
"Well that's that then." He said. "Tomorrow we start home." Naruto nodded and as Kakashi disappeared he sighed. He took off his jacket and grabbed the other one he had packed in his bag. _Knock! Knock! Knock! _Someone knocked at the door. Naruto hurried to pull the jacket on and tossed the other one in the bag. He noticed that the sleeves were stained with blood but he ignored that and hoped it'd come out. He opened the door to find Inari standing there.

"Naruto…" Inari started. "Are you changing into a different person?" Naruto found that an odd question.  
"Why?" He asked as he sat down on the bed, a smile formed on his face.  
"Well you sound a little different as if your jokes aren't making you laugh and you only make them because you don't want to seem different." Naruto frowned and wondered how the kid had figured that out. Kakashi Sensei himself hadn't noticed.  
"Nah." He replied. "I'm just going through a phase." He smiled and watched Inari walk off happily. He began wondered whether it was just a phase. Maybe he was taking these feelings too hard? But could it be a phase? Every time he looks at Sakura he felt nothing but pain and he wanted it to stop.

When they arrived at Konoha Naruto started feeling a bit happier. He was still depressed but would hurt himself anymore. He did stay up and sometimes even take the kunai out but he wouldn't use it. It wasn't that he felt good enough to stop but the fact that he felt he'd be able to talk if all the scars went away. The village looked wonderful but yet he couldn't shake the feeling that something worse was going to happen. He tried to shake off the feeling, telling himself that he'd talk to Kakashi if his wounds healed. A week passed and Kyuubi healed Naruto's wounds as promised. Naruto seemed to get back to normal or at least halfway. For some reason he didn't talk to Kakashi. He tried more than once only to say it was nothing. Kakashi began to get a bit worried after noticing his little changes. He'd noticed for a while that Naruto was hiding something. He was a skilled Jounin; it was unlikely that Naruto would get anything past him. All three had finished training and Naruto had walked off. Sakura and Sasuke remained behind. Naruto walked by the Ramen bar because he had run out at his place. He hadn't been there for a while though and as he approached he went to grab his wallet.  
"Damn" He muttered after realizing he left it behind. When he walked into the field he found the wallet but something was odd. He looked around and when he turned to the bridge he suddenly wished he hadn't looked. Sasuke and Sakura were still there and they were kissing! Naruto turned around and hurried off before they could spot him but everything that he had been holding back in the attempt to be normal broke free.

A tear slid down his cheek as he walked home.He was struggling to remain under control of his emotions and was failing as another slipped out.  
"_Why do you care so much for this girl? There are hundreds out there!"_ The Kyuubi asked.  
'You wouldn't understand.' Naruto answered as he got home. He entered and shut the door. He locked it and sat down at the table and looked again at the picture on again… Then he looked at his kunai collection with his heart beating fast. He reached over and grabbed one…

Kakashi had finished talking with the Hokage about how he felt concerned that something bad may have happened. He told her about how Naruto's wound seemed to cause more pain than it should have. About how he refused for anyone to try and help and how he hadn't seemed to have slept in ages. And how he seemed to be forcing himself to be happy around the others. She asked why he didn't come earlier and all Kakashi could mutter was:  
"I thought it was a phase."  
"BAKA!" Tsunade roared at him! She sighed. "We'll place him under surveillance. Gai's team is free so I'll send Neji to do so. His Byakugan can help when Naruto is out of normal view." Kakashi said thanks and walked off. He thought it was unnecessary for her to put another team on the case when she could have just called for Naruto and talked to him. Surely that would have solved everything.

Gai Sensei informed Neji of his task the next day, even though the instructions were hard to make out between Gai's talk of the "Springtime of Youth!" Neji asked TenTen whether she had any clue why he was to watch the Uzamaki boy. But she had no idea. Naruto was just his usual hyperactive self most of the day. In fact Neji wondered whether it'd be worth ditching and just saying that Naruto was fine when asked. But it was late when he noticed the first change in Naruto's behavior. Sakura walked over to Sasuke after practice and they started kissing and Naruto wasn't smiling any longer. In fact he was hurrying off with clenched fists. Neji had never seen Naruto crying so he assumed it was a trick of the light when he thought he saw tears. Neji wondered whether he was upset over his teammates relationship. When he reached Naruto's house he found himself staring through the window. Naruto didn't suspect anyone watching him so he left the blinds open. He just sat on his bed for a while and his face would make odd expressions.

"_Just forget about the damn girl!"_ the Kyuubi roared at him. Naruto ignored him.  
"_HEY BAKA DIDN'T YOU HEAR ME!"  
_'Yes' He thought reluctantly.  
"_Now you and I have become… well not friends but partners. If you keep doing this it'll ruin both of us._" Naruto sighed.  
'I don't care!' He thought defiantly.  
"_You should! You only live once! It's best not to waste your time on this girl who obviously doesn't share the same feelings!" _

Neji had no clue about what Naruto was thinking of. Nor that he had a demon fox lecturing him about his life. But late at night when Neji had given up hope for anything really unnatural Naruto sat up. He looked around and unzipped his jacket not suspecting a thing. It slid to the floor and Neji was shocked. Naruto's arms were covered, well not so much now that the Kyuubi had fixed the original damage, with cuts! He leaned in wondering if Naruto was undergoing some type of training that was hurting him. He wondered if Naruto was doing anything Lee would do. He saw him open a drawer and grab a kunai. Naruto sat down on his bed and, to Neji's surprise, he was actually crying.

Naruto cursed himself for the tears that fell. He didn't want to cry! He thought he had stopped crying during times like this… no he couldn't have. Because this was a completely new feeling he couldn't have prepared himself for it. He let the tears fall as he cursed himself and pressed the metal against his arm again cursing himself for his feelings. He cursed himself for not talking to Kakashi before it had come to this…

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AUTHORS NOTES:

1) Thanks for the reviews!

2) Replies to reviews:

To Minamoto Izumi: Your reply never fails to make me laugh:)

To BloodDrownedRose: As you can see he was discovered but not in a silly 'I was walking down the hall' kind of way. I didn't come up with that kind of a story.

To prettybeka: This is more of a one-sided love story. Naruto cares for Sakura who cares for Sasuke and this is what happens to Naruto when Sasuke and Sakura get closer.

To Shadow Kitsune67: You haven't seen the half of it.


	5. Chapter 5

CHAPTER FIVE

Neji watched, nearly paralyzed, as Naruto ran the blade down his arm. It left a trail of blood as it moved and Naruto was wincing. He didn't know what to do… after a few minutes Naruto had stopped, both arms now having two new cuts in them, and he pulled his jacket back on. Neji shook his head and tried to clear his mind. But the memories of the Chuunin exams kept returning to his mind. How strong Naruto was. He walked towards the Hokage's office slowly. And as he walked the more he told himself he had imagined it. He kept telling himself Naruto wouldn't resort to that. That Naruto was stronger than an emotion. He had been so powerful then…

When Neji arrived at the Hokage's office he asked to speak and she was woken up. Although she was not very happy about being woken up so early.  
"Couldn't this have waited?" She asked sleepily. Neji hesitated then came to a decision.  
"It… could have." He said. "But I think it's best to get it over with." He sat down and looked at the Hokage. "Aside from sleep troubles I have noticed… no … new changes." He spoke slowly trying to make up his mind of whether or not to inform her.  
"So Kakashi's fears were just the fears of an old fool?" She asked, smirking. "I figured as much." She was half asleep and not even realizing what she was saying though so Neji didn't know if he could believe what she was saying fully. Surely she was talking about someone else. Kakashi was not usually a fool.  
"If that is all you wanted Hokage-Sama?" he asked. "I'd like… to return home." He had paused for a second, feeling guilty about not saying everything. But he shook off the feeling. Naruto was strong enough to get over this alone…wasn't he? (A.N.1)

The next day Naruto didn't feel any better. While he prepared breakfast he couldn't stop but staring at the picture of his team. For some reason he felt that it didn't represent the team anymore. Usually they were all close friends, nothing more, but as Sakura and Sasuke got more interested in each other they had left Naruto alone. They hadn't even realized it but the team was split in two. One half consisted of Sakura and Sasuke and the other Naruto. Kakashi didn't even notice due to his book. All he thought was that it was cute that Sasuke was noticing Sakura. When they arrived on the training field Kakashi told them there was to be no instructions.  
"Fight your hardest," he informed them. "But don't kill each other. I can't be here to watch because I have a meeting." He disappeared in a burst of smoke.

At the Hokage's office Kakashi reappeared in the windowsill.  
"Yo!" He said, starting Tsunade. She let out a yelp and slammed her fist at him. He avoided it, just barely.  
"Why don't you come in the normal way?" Tsunade asked him.  
"Because the road of life has many paths. Why take the main one?" Kakashi asked.  
"Enough of the road of life crap! I hear it every time you are late." Tsunade groaned. "We have a report on Naruto. No suspicious activity aside from the same lack of sleep." Kakashi nodded.  
"That's good to hear." He said. He leaned back and sighed. "He just seems so distant lately. He still makes his little jokes but it sounds like his heart isn't in them."

Training was not much. Naruto slipped up a few times due to his arms and Sasuke properly teased him about not being strong enough. So as soon as Kakashi returned and told them training was done he took off for home! Kakashi sighed, having no chance to tell Naruto that he wanted to talk to him. Naruto ran home and locked the door. The first thing he did was look in the bathroom mirror at his arms. Sure enough he had pulled one cut open, and they were bruised from the fighting with Sasuke. He sighed and walked into the other room of his apartment. He sat down and lay there for a while. _Knock! Knock!_ He heard. He looked up, wondering who'd be visiting. When he opened the door his jacket was on but he hadn't zipped it up. Kakashi was standing there with a happy face.  
"Yo!" He said. (A.N. 2) "You ran off a bit quickly."  
"I had something to check on." Naruto replied. "So why are you here?"  
"Well," Kakashi said. "I wanted to talk to you." Naruto sighed and let him into the apartment. Kakashi sat on the chair and faced Naruto while Naruto sat on his bed.  
"So…" Naruto started awkwardly. "What did you want to talk about?" He didn't really care at the moment; just happy someone was there who didn't want to ignore him. But he still was afraid Kakashi would bring up something that would lead to him revealing his past offenses.  
"You haven't been sleeping, Naruto." Kakashi said. "Anyone could tell just by looking at you." He chuckled. "So why haven't you been sleeping Naruto? Are you idolizing Gaara or something ?" Naruto laughed.  
"Yeah." He joked. "I am going to kill you." He said in the most serious, yet hilarious, tone that he could find. Kakashi laughed.  
"But seriously, why haven't you been sleeping?" He asked. Naruto looked at the ground.  
"I…don't know." He lied. "I just don't find myself tired anymore." Naruto felt a stab of guilt for his lie. This was the perfect opportunity to spill his worries and feelings out. Why was he avoiding it?  
"Hmm… Maybe we should ask the Hokage if she knows anything?" Kakashi suggested. Naruto shook his head.  
"I'll just live with it." He said. "I'll sleep on my own time." Kakashi sighed.  
"I hope you aren't hiding anything, Naruto." He said. "You don't have anyone to talk to more than half the time so it'd be more than okay for you to come find me…." He stopped for a second. "We are a team. And team members support one another."

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: 

(1): Before you tell me that Neji wouldn't be stupid enough to try and forget what he saw, I know that. But he is also the only character who I believe could come to that conclusion.

Shikamaru is a genius so he'd know not to hide it.

Ino would probably tell all of Konoha.

Chouji would probably throw a tantrum from being asked to watch because he couldn't eat and make noise could he?

Kiba would have Akamaru who would probably whine until he informed the Hokage even if he wanted to keep it a secret.

Shino is too smart to not tell regardless of how quiet. Plus he has around a million bugs to talk to who'd probably demand it.

Hinata would probably faint a few times if she saw Naruto acting that way.  
Sakura and Sasuke were on his team so being asked to watch would probably be awkward plus it'd end the story.

TenTen would go straight to the Hokage.

Rock Lee would break into Naruto's house screaming about how he can't ruin his youth… I think.

Neji probably would be smart but he wouldn't overreact like most others would. Plus he is the one I have seen Naruto hanging around the least.

That is just what I decided. Shino and Neji were the only ones who probably wouldn't overreact so I chose one of them.

(2) Maybe Kakashi should start saying something else…

(3) Review Replies:

Maiyuko-chan: The pairings are now in the description.

The Happy Stalker Ball The uploading doesn't really make it any better ;).


	6. Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

Naruto's condition barely improved over the next two weeks. He silently cursed himself for not taking the chance to talk to Kakashi. Sasuke and Sakura got closer and closer. Naruto thought that only Sakura could take someone like Sasuke and make him happy. Naruto went to training and Kakashi noticed his conditions get worse. He noticed that he was making less jokes and he was starting to talk less. But unlike Sasuke, who usually was silent because he was thinking, Naruto was talking less because it seemed he was getting sad or disappointed in something.

"Yo!" A voice startled Tenten and she fell out off the tree she was standing on! She hit the ground next to Neji and grunted! Neji looked up, annoyed that Kakashi was interrupting their training.  
"I thought you guys were ninja." Kakashi joked. "Shouldn't you have sensed me coming?" Tenten stood up and began to chew him out for sneaking up. But he held up a hand.  
"Whoa, whoa!" He said. "I just came to talk to Neji." Neji looked at him surprised.  
"Talk to me?" He asked Kakashi. "Why?"  
"You were the one who watched Naruto am I correct?" He asked, already knowing the answer.  
"Yes." Neji answered. "If you want the details then you can ask the Hokage." He said. The wave of guilt he had successfully meditated away was returning. He didn't want to talk to Naruto's instructor after lying on the report.  
"I wanted to ask you." Kakashi said with a serious tone. He jumped down from the tree and looked at Neji. "Did you leave anything out of that report?" Before he could even think Neji replied.  
"No " He said. Kakashi looked at him closely. It was like he was trying to read Neji's mind. After a minute he spoke. "I hope not. Because if a member of your team was in trouble you'd want to help them. I expect the same respect towards my team." He left and Neji decided he'd had enough practice for the day, even though they had barely started.  
"Did you lie to him?" Tenten asked. "Did you lie to Kakashi?"  
"Where would you get that idea?" Neji asked.  
"You normally wouldn't quit so early." Tenten answered. "You usually like to keep your Byakugan in top condition."  
"YOSH! MY YOUTHFUL STUDENTS OF KONOHA!" Came the greeting of Gai. Neji turned to Tenten, glad for his unexpected arrival.  
"That's why." He said.

(A.N.1)

Naruto had been practicing alone for a couple of hours when the other two showed up. He didn't understand why they wanted to come here but he ignored them. Sasuke and Sakura were, apparently, just taking a shortcut. Naruto sighed as he attempted to use a tree-branch to swing up to another branch. But he felt a jab of pain and let go.  
"Damn it…" He cursed. He couldn't even do things he was supposed to know from the academy. He sighed and pulled his left sleeve up to look at his arm. He felt angry at the wounds that were taking longer than he was used to, to heal. He sighed and looked up at the sky wondering exactly what would things be like if none of this was happening. He imagined him being his usually self and Sakura watching Sasuke who wanted to be left alone. He couldn't help but crack a smile.  
"There you are!" A voice cried. Naruto quickly covered his arm and looked at an approaching figure. He gave a small groan as Ino walked over to him.  
"Hey!" She said, unusually friendly. Naruto looked around to see if someone else was there.  
"What do you want?" He asked slowly.  
"Well I want Sasuke-kun!" She said. "And I know you have your eye on Sakura!" Naruto rolled his eyes. _Everyone _knew this already.  
"What about it?" He asked cautiously. He climbed to his feet and leaned against the tree.  
"I want to break them up! And I want your help!" Ino said. Naruto looked at the ground.  
"I… can't help you." He said even slower than usual. He didn't want to look at Ino, who was angry.  
"Why not?" She cried. "We can both have what we want! We just need to get them apart!" Naruto started walking away, cursing himself for even talking to Ino. She didn't like him walking out before giving her an answer and grabbed his arm to hold him back. Naruto's eyes widened as she dug her nails into his arm and he grimaced falling onto his knees! Ino laughed.  
"Wow you are weak." She muttered. Naruto jerked his arm away and climbed to his feet slowly.  
"Just listen." Ino ordered. "You want someone, I want someone, and when they got together it was a call for us to join forces! You could have forehead girl all to yourself." Naruto turned angrily to Ino.  
"Her name is Sakura." He said angrily. "And I don't think you should be one to criticize people." He turned away and left. Ino was furious, of course, but she didn't do anything.

The next week she tried again at his apartment when he came back from more failed training. In fact Kakashi had asked him why his performance was slipping. Naruto was walking home depressed due to the fact that Sakura had accused him of doing this to gain attention. He had gradually gotten paler and started to look like he was sick. When he got to his apartment he found Ino waiting at the top of the stairs.  
"I know you want to help me!" She accused. "So why refuse?"  
"Because I don't want to help you." Naruto said. But his voice was lower and more like a forced whisper.  
"Yeah that proved me wrong." Ino said sarcastically, having noticed his tone. Naruto pushed past her to get to his house. As he bumped into her a bruise from training made his face twitch a bit. He was getting less used to keeping pain to himself as this depression continued and he just wanted to be alone.  
"What are you hiding?" Ino asked. "Are you having a secret relationship with Forehead Girl!" She accused. Naruto just unlocked his door and stepped inside. He forgot to lock it though, just eager to get away. He threw his jacket to the floor as Ino walked, uninvited, into his apartment!

* * *

AUTHORS NOTES

(1) I had to add Gai Sensei in somehow.

(2)Just because Ino walked in doesn't mean she catches him. Or does it?

(3)I update a bit fast because I have no life ;) So I can write more.

(4)Review Replies:

Maiyuko-chan: You'll have to read to find out.

NarutoNineTails & KitMiyu: Your wish is granted.


	7. Chapter 7

CHAPTER 7

Naruto held his arms close to the front of his chest, crossing them, so that Ino wouldn't see.  
"Get out!" He said angrily. "You have no right to be here!"  
"I have every right to find out what you are hiding!" She said. Naruto walked into the bathroom and shut the door. He leaned against the wall and waited for Ino to leave. Her last words in the matter were that she'd find out what he was hiding! After she walked away Naruto sighed. He felt like he couldn't walk… he leaned over and suddenly puked onto the floor. The training was taking a worse effect than he thought. His instincts were slower and he couldn't react as fast. He was too slow to dodge Sasuke's attacks and now he felt pain almost everywhere and furious that he had gotten himself into this. But what overwhelmed all that was the fact that Sakura didn't care if he was okay or not but went straight to accusing him of doing it on purpose. He leaned back against the wall struggling to hold back his emotions but he let them out. He was alone. As he pulled a kunai out of his supply bag he realized that no one could help him now...

Naruto went for training the next day and when he arrived he didn't look at either of them. Nor did he complain about Kakashi being late. When Kakashi did show up the first thing he noticed was that Naruto hadn't yelled at him but sat there on the ground. He looked terrible. He was paler and his lack of sleep made his face look haunted. He just sat there clutching his stomach as if he was sick.  
"All right!" Kakashi said. "Today we are going to have a four way battle." He looked at them all. "You guys have really improved so I am going to see if you can take me on yet." They looked at him interested and he continued. "You three will head in different directions into this forest. Then when the whistle blows you should find any of your teammates and take them down. Do not injure them if they give in. And no killing, period!" After explaining a few more rules they all walked off. Kakashi himself went away to hide and Naruto was left in the field. He slowly got to his feet but collapsed.

He was daydreaming or something. He felt awake and could see the bridge he had been standing on but he could also see visions of a future. He saw Sasuke as the Hokage of Konoha and his wife Sakura with two children. The entire village seemed to have gathered for Sasuke's ceremony. Then he saw himself, older but looking worse than he did now, standing there. People started throwing things and driving him back. They called him an outcast again and again. (1) He watched the fantasy Naruto call out to his friends. Sasuke just laughed and then the fantasy Sakura spoke.  
"**_We were never friends Naruto"_**

Neji noticed Naruto with a look that clearly read 'I made a mistake.' He noticed how pale Naruto looked compared to the time he had been put under watch. It was around a week into the second month since Naruto had begun his actions. Neji began to walk over…

Naruto couldn't stop seeing more and more depressing futures in his head. He didn't realize that Ino was performing a technique on him. She thought this would get him to go onto her cause and was smiling. Neji stood next to Naruto and looked around with his Byakugan. Surely Kakashi wouldn't put a student in a Genjutsu like that! He noticed Ino and the pieces fit together. He raced over towards her! Then he heard Naruto grunt in painand turned back horrified.

A small stream of blood dripped down Naruto's hand. He had stabbed himself to remove the jutsu! He took off running towards the forest but tripped. He hit the ground and his right leg hit his Kunai! He let out a cry of pain! Neji and Ino both ran over to see whether he was ok! Naruto pulled out the Kunai, which had gone deeper than either though, and he didn't even see Neji or Ino. He was too lost in his own mind and feelings. He stood up and began limping off as fast as he could. Neji grabbed Ino before she could follow and told her not to follow. She objected and he finally managed to admit it.  
"Naruto is in danger." He said. "And you didn't help that!" Ino scoffed.  
"What kind of danger?"  
"The kind that has him sitting up at night attacking himself with his own weapons!" Neji exclaimed. Sadly no one but Ino heard. They both ran off to fetch the Hokage.

Naruto leaned against a tree sobbing uncontrollably. Those visions, while he knew they weren't real, had shown him things that he'd been thinking about. A future he didn't want. Seeing it happen instead of just thinking about it shook him. His right hand gripped the kunai, which he looked at. And for the first time he really considered killing himself. But he was able to shake that feeling, telling himself it was just a vision.  
"…St-Stop thinking…ab-about it…" He told himself. He lifted his sleeve, uncaring that his friends could be anywhere near him. He began sticking it into his arm over and over again.  
"Stop…stop!" He said.The feeling didn't stop. It didn't go away. In fact it got worse and he knew he had to get out of there. He limped towards the end of the forest. He had one place in mind that could comfort him.

* * *

AUTHORS NOTES:

1 The original version of the chapter actually had the vision with "demon fox" mentioned. But then I remembered that Ino doesn't know about that so how could she put it in a jutsu?

2 Review Replies

Maiyuko-chan: Yes I know I don't reply that well. This is my first story posted here. And I wasn't even planning on Authors Notes either until I read a story that included them.

full-metal-sousuke: Well you have your answer now. :) However I do think more questions will be asked after the next chapter… Oops, said a bit too much winkwink

LeweL: Maybe. Maybe the story will end with Naruto and Hinata. Or maybe it will end with Naruto and Ino. But only I know the ending and I shall not reveal it here! Mwahahahacough … I need a better evil laugh. More fanfics with cliffhangers will help that. >:-)


	8. Chapter 8

CHAPTER 8

Kakashi had found Sakura easily. He decided to save her for last since she was so defenseless. Sasuke was tougher to track down. He was hunting Naruto, unaware that Naruto had left. After a half hour of search her cursed and went back to the bridge. There was Kakashi! At least he'd have a chance to fight now! He raced forward and threw two kunai at Kakashi only for them… to go right through him without a scratch.  
"Damn! Genjutsu!" Sasuke muttered. He looked around for the real Kakashi. Suddenly he was knocked off his feet into a tree! Kakashi pinned him.  
"You fell for it that easily?" He asked. Sasuke growled at him without replying. Kakashi laughed. "One down." He muttered. "Just Naruto and Sakura to go." Sasuke was furious at this. He had acted rashly because the Genjutsu, which had disappeared, had been the first target he saw. He had made Naruto's mistake.

When Neji and Ino arrived at the Hokage's they tried to enter but were refused.  
"She said no one is to disturb her." Said a guard. "No matter what the cause." Neji cursed at the guard.  
"DAMN YOU!" He shouted. "THIS IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN PAPERWORK!" The guard laughed.  
"Not my fault." He told them. "I just follow orders."  
"Even if those orders could harm someone else when they need the Hokage?" Ino asked. She had been informed of Neji's lie and Naruto's actions as they raced to the building.  
"Hey, hey calm down!" The guy said. "I don't think there is one person in this village who would die from not seeing the Hokage in the next hour."

Kakashi had successfully rounded up Sakura when he couldn't find Naruto. It had started to rain a little. He told them to look everywhere for him. They couldn't stop looking or be dismissed until every single one of them was with him. So they all spread out to search. First they each searched a part of the forest. They didn't find him in there so they went to look elsewhere. Sakura checked every ramen bar in town and Sasuke even went to his house. Kakashi searched the entire town and was denied the chance to speak with the Hokage when he asked.

"Why do things turn out this way?" Naruto whispered. The rain was cleaning the blood off him. He was sitting down near the memorial stone that Kakashi had shown them on their first day. Kakashi's best friend had his name placed on here. But so was the person Naruto was talking too. "Why do things change?" He asked. He was kneeling down, so he wouldn't hurt his injured knee as much, and was staring at a name. Sarutobi.  
"You never changed old man…" Naruto whispered. "What is your secret?" He asked amongst tears. Luckily the rain hid them. He looked up at the sky wishing for a sign. The Third Hokage had always looked after everyone. Even the demon boy everyone grew up hating. Naruto's mind wasn't any clearer now but he was calmer. "You gave your life away because you always cared… was that why you were Hokage? Was it because you cared?" He looked back upon the memorial and sighed. "I don't know what to do…please … just… give me a sign or … something. Help me understand what I should do… please?" To anyone passing by he'd probably look pitiful. A pale kid with eyes reddened from crying. His left arm had water mixed with blood running down it. No one passed by that would feel pity. The person who arrived was very angry with him.  
"What the hell are you doing?" Sakura yelled. "Abandoning training like that!" Naruto didn't answer. He didn't want to talk to Sakura. He didn't want to even look at her. He just wanted to get away from his troubles.  
"Hey! Answer me!" Sakura shouted! She forced him around and looked at him. "What is your problem?" Naruto didn't answer. Sakura shoved him angrily against the memorial.  
"Stop it Naruto. Just stop it!" She said. She was getting the wrong idea from his actions. "Stop trying to be like Sasuke!" Naruto just stared at her. This time he was too shocked to speak. She thought he was trying to be Sasuke?  
"In case you haven't noticed," Sakura continued. "I am dating Sasuke. So just stop trying to pull me away from him because of your stupid childhood crush! Why can't you just feel happy for me? I don't love you and I don't even know why I consider you a friend." She stormed off angrily. Fuming at how Naruto came to such a place during practice. Why hadn't he just given up so they could be dismissed and then go there? She was so preoccupied with her anger that by the time she felt sorry enough to apologize it was too late.

Naruto just stayed there for a few seconds. It stopped raining and he just couldn't move. He felt like he was paralyzed.  
'_I don't even know why I consider you my friend!"_ Sure she had been overreacting from being in the rain for an hour looking for him, but still. The words stung. After half an hour had passed Naruto stood up and limped down a path. Tears streamed down his face and he felt like nothing. Like he was nothing to anyone. With no one to comfort him Naruto moved as quickly as he could along a path he recognized. He had taken it with his friends several times. The path leading out of Konoha…

* * *

Author's Notes:

Replies to Reviews:

Zaln: I must say that your reaction was the one I had actually expected most reviews to be. But most people here seem to haveactually realized that fanfiction rarely stays within the official boundaries that the original story told. If it were then I'm quite sure every story here would be boring. We'd always have people the same way because we wouldn't be able to change them.

Look at a fanfiction I saw earlier. It is called Evil Hinata. If you are going to tell me that what I am writing is not supposed to be written you had better tell that author too. In fact you should hunt down every story that doesn't flow with the details of the manga/anime and you should tell them off. Oh wait, I forgot this is fanfiction can have characters intentionally sad or suffering beyond what they would officially. And it can even have them change to be insane and funny. I got the idea from another story that had a different concept and decided to write out my idea. Every fanfiction is a different thing and can't be looked at with a set of rules based on the official anime or manga.

As for your complaints: I haven't seen one fanfic like that. Of course I don't read much drama and this is my first time writing it. The whole concept was developed at once. Not "oh Naruto is depressed so he has to hurt himself!" I don't write like that. That's called stereotyping I believe. But I doubt the story would even be the same if it were not written this way.

I respect you for your opinion but don't try and tell me what is and what is not right to write about in fanfiction. I've been writing them for other places and just for friends and myself for a long time. Because if you were right and Naruto would never do a thing like this, even in fanfiction, than a lot of comedy writers should be kicked out for going out of character with the various characters of the fanfiction world. And that wouldn't really help because a lot of stories are good since the character is OOC.

Maiyuko-chan: Your wish for the next chapter is granted.


	9. Chapter 9

CHAPTER 9

After an hour Neji had hurried to the Hokage's office. He raced past the unguarded entrance and burst into the room! Kakashi was in there already.  
"HOKAGE-SAMA!" Neji exclaimed. "We have a big problem!" He felt as if he couldn't speak all of a sudden.  
"Yes?" Tsunade asked. "I hope it is important, Kakashi is missing a student."  
"It wouldn't be Naruto would it?" Asked Ino who came in after seeing Neji enter. Kakashi turned to the two in surprise.  
"Actually it would." He said. "He disappeared during training." Ino suddenly had a guilty look on her face and so did Neji. Neji sighed.  
"I lied." He said quickly. He closed his eyes in shame. "I lied about Naruto."  
"WHAT!" Kakashi shouted as he stood up. "Why would you do that?"  
"I thought he was strong enough to handle whatever he was feeling." Neji said. He proceeded to reveal what he had seen that night when on watch. The Hokage was furious.  
"You thought he was going to handle it on his own?" She demanded. "He was hurting himself! That should have proven that he couldn't!"  
"It won't matter until we find Naruto." Kakashi said. Neji nodded.

Naruto looked at the village from the gates and wished that he had another choice. He couldn't turn back now. He had changed too much and so had the others. He turned and walked, limping because of his injured leg, out into the area beyond.  
"_What are you planning to do?_" The Kyuubi asked. He already knew though. Naruto was broken up over what Sakura had said. Why did he ever hope she cared?  
"_Please don't do this._" The Kyuubi yelled. "_Just forget about the girl!_" Naruto didn't listen. He continued limping away. He couldn't hear anything but Sakura's voice.  
'I don't know why I even consider you my friend!' After an hour he leaned against a tree to rest. He hadn't made it too far. The others could make the journey in half the time.  
"_Listen to me…"_ The demon said. "_Life goes on… people deal with heartbreak every day."  
_'I doubt that…' Naruto thought back. 'If more people felt this way then the world would be a lot different.'  
"_Not everyone feels it like this, although some do."_ Kyuubi responded. "_You never had anyone for your entire life… no one to lean on. No shoulder to cry on. So you felt alone and avoided talking about your problem. Now look where it has gotten you! Pull yourself together and go back!"  
_Naruto looked at the sky. He knew that Sakura would tell Kakashi she'd seen him. Kakashi would dismiss them, not wanting to disturb Naruto. Kakashi had lost his best friend and frequently visited that memorial so he would understand. So they would all go home… No one would realize it if he didn't return. Not until tomorrow…

They searched frantically, Neji using his Byakugan. In fact the other teams had been informed, of everything, and were searching too. Rock Lee was furious with Neji saying that if he had found the "Springtime of Youth" he wouldn't have lied. And he told Ino that she'd get over Sasuke if she found the "Springtime of Youth". Neither really cared for what he was saying and hurried to search. They all met up near the gates of Konoha.  
"Where the hell could he be?" Kakashi said. He was very worried. Sakura and Sasuke had been sent to wait at the Hokage's for Kakashi to return. He didn't want anything worse to happen. They decided to check outside of the village and after half an hour Kakashi couldn't help but ask to no one.  
"Where is he?"

"What is this about Hokage-Sama?" Sakura asked. Tsunade didn't feel that she should know yet.  
"You'll find out when the others bring Naruto." She told them.  
"Last I saw he was at that memorial stone." Sakura said. "He went there instead of training! But you called us here before I could tell Kakashi-Sensei."  
"If he is there then he'll be found." Tsunade said. She was worried. It had been over an hour since they started looking. She was feeling uneasy about this. What if they were too late?

Naruto lay there looking at the sky. He felt more alone than he had ever felt. More alone than he could have imagined. He believed that no one was looking for him. His only company was the demon sealed within him. And that demon wasn't helping by telling him to forget Sakura. No one knew where he was…  
"Please _don't do it kid._" The demon said. "_You only have one shot at life._" Naruto ignored him and had used his right hand, the only arm that would move now, to pull out his kunai. His eyes clearly relayed his decision…

"Do you think we'll find him?" Tenten asked Rock Lee. Lee frowned then struck a 'nice guy' pose.  
"YES! WE SHALL FIND NARUTO-KUN AND WE SHALL HELP HIM!" He shouted. "WE SHALL HELP HIM FIND HIS SPRINGTIME OF YOUTH!" Kakashi sighed. So much for keeping quiet in case Naruto was trying to run. He called Neji over to him.  
"Scan the area over there with your Byakugan." He told him. Neji nodded and ran in the direction Kakashi had pointed. After five minutes his voice came back.  
"I think I found him!" The voice shouted. Kakashi raced over to Neji who pointed at the area Naruto was. "Over there."

Sakura groaned in boredom. She could be going somewhere with Sasuke right now! She felt angry that Naruto would avoid people like this. Why did he have to impose on their time? Didn't he care about them? Weren't they a team? Those thoughts raced through her mind as they waited. Sasuke didn't care much. He just sat there thinking. Suddenly Akamaru flew into her window! The little dog carried a note and leapt back out to inform Kiba that the Hokage had received it. Tsunade opened it and her eyes opened in shock. She fell back into her chair.  
"They've found Naruto." She said.  
"Is something wrong Hokage-Sama?" Sakura asked. Surely finding Naruto was a good thing.  
"Yes…"

* * *

Amazingly there is no question I can really answer. So this author's notes will be really blank...

Questions you might want answered:

(1) Why Rock Lee?

Because it was my last chance to add anything that might make people smile. The next chapter is really not going to have any of them.

(2) Why did Sakura act that way to Naruto? Isn't she smart?

Yes but she was also walking around in the rain for about an hour before she found him. She could be at home and dry or somewhere with Sasuke and dry. So she was angry... very angry.

As for this chapter, Sakura is adding her anger from before onto the fact that she's been waiting in the Hokage's office for a while when she could be somewhere alone with Sasuke.

* * *

Thanks for the reviews! I'll update as soon as I finish the next chapter. 


	10. Chapter 10

CHAPTER 10

"Yes…" The Hokage said. "According to this… Naruto's very close to actually…" She didn't finish, Sakura didn't understand and neither did Sasuke. A half-hour later Kakashi walked inside; followed by three people who were carrying something very big. Sakura didn't understand what it was since her line of sight was blocked by the other team members coming in.

Tsunade walked over to Naruto. He had apparently stabbed himself many times. According to her knowledge he shouldn't have lived. The Kyuubi was using its strength to keep them both alive and couldn't keep it up…  
"What do you think caused it?" She whispered. Kakashi shook his head.  
"I have no clue." He told her. He turned to his team to talk. "What you are about to see is the result of a long suffering. That is all we know about it. We don't know what caused the suffering and we hope to find out why tonight. But things won't go back to the way they were. I can't promise that." He sighed and nodded to the others who set down what they were carrying into a chair. Both Sakura and Sasuke recognized the blond hair, the whiskers, and the eyes. What surprised them most was that his jacket was gone and the shirt underneath torn. Ten of the injuries were still visible, Tsunade having cured the others. Lots of blood was streaming down his shirt.

"What happened to him?" Sakura shouted. "Was he attacked or something?" Her "friend" sat in the chair too weak to move. All he could do was look at them. The people who had come to help him when he thought he was beyond help. Kakashi sat down next to the others and sighed.  
"It all must come out now Naruto." He said slowly. "Everything that caused this." Naruto nodded slowly. His voice was hoarse and he spoke very slowly, coughing every now and then.

"It… it started after…after the accident." He said. "When I nearly lost my… my teammate." He took a few breaths and to Sakura's surprise he was crying. "I couldn't… sleep. I-I kept…having nightmares." He gagged for a second and then continued. "They were… they were about… about losing her… about it being my fault." He took another pause here to cough.  
"She began seeing…another teammate… and I felt jealous…" Naruto continued. His vision had begun blurring but he ignored it as he spoke. "I… didn't want to feel… jealous. So I tried to… punish… punish myself for it… But it just got worse… I hated myself… I wanted to feel happy that she was happy." Sakura's words rang through her head.  
"Why can't you just feel happy for me? I don't love you and I don't even know why I consider you a friend.'  
"They got…closer and I… felt worse and…worse." He nearly threw up there. Kakashi looked at Tsunade who still held a hand over him, the green light showing that she was attempting to fix things. I saw what seemed to be a daydream of the future… or something like that… It scared me and I had to go somewhere to calm down. But when I got there my teammate…found me. She told me…" He didn't continue but looked at the floor.  
"What did she say?" Kiba whispered. Akamaru was whining sadly.  
"I… said that I didn't consider him a friend…" Sakura said slowly. She stood up and walked over to Naruto. She looked horrified at her actions. He didn't look at her but his eyes widened when she gave him a hug.

"I'm sorry…" She said. "I… was angry…things… slip out," She said. She had started crying now too. "I didn't mean what I said…" Kakashi just sat there. He was unsure what to do now. Had this ever happened before in Konoha? The other Genin teams were all silent. When Sakura let go she didn't care that the blood he was covered in had gotten on her. She wasn't even thinking straight as she sat down. They sat in silence for a while. Then suddenly Naruto began to cough. He fell out of the chair coughing! He threw up and Tsunade hurried to try and heal him. Surely her power combined with the Kyuubi's would work? Sakura had leapt out of her seat and knelt down beside Naruto.  
"Don't die! Please!" She cried sobbing. Sasuke actually looked disturbed and frightened. The other teams didn't know what to do. Hinata had begun sobbing too, her teammates trying to comfort her.

_Why didn't it help?_ That was the question that everyone was asking a few days later. No one understood the loss. Many weren't ready to accept it. The Hokage herself was unbelieving of it. She had been healing him steadily the whole time… what happened? Kakashi was the first to arrive at the true answer. It was the Kyuubi. He had tried hard to keep Naruto alive long enough to be cured. Tried hard to cure him and had failed. He had done too much damage to be dealt with within the time they had. The only thing that _might_ have changed things would have been Tsunade being where they found him.

Sakura was the one most broken up about it. She blamed herself. But, unlike Naruto, she had her parents to comfort her. She refused to talk to anyone for the first week after the tragic event. The other ninja were experiencing loss. Neji wasn't broken like Sakura but he too blamed himself. If he had only revealed Naruto earlier then the whole thing would have ended. He vowed to never make the same mistakes again and to train harder. Rock Lee and Gai were both wearing black versions of their standard outfits. Sasuke hadn't changed much. He still didn't talk to people and looked annoyed half the time. But he'd suspiciously leave the room whenever anyone mentioned Naruto. Hinata was taking a lot of damage too. She hadn't stopped sobbing for the past week. Her dad and sister were there to help. Kiba and Akamaru both were shocked at it. Akamaru wouldn't stop whining anymore. Shino…was Shino and expressed sorrow in his own weird way. Ino also blamed herself because of the Genjutsu she'd used. Tenten wasn't crying but was more depressed. She barely knew Naruto so it wasn't as hard.

The other people of the village expressed their emotions over it. A small group of people was glad the "monster fox" was killed and had been told off by Tsunade. The whole village wasn't the same for the first few weeks. Iruka had stopped teaching because of personal reasons. Konohamaru refused to go to class. It was a surprising turn of events for someone who considered himself of very little importance.

"What will become of my team?" Kakashi asked Tsunade one evening. He had avoided the question because he didn't wish for the team to split. Yet he didn't feel that there were any who could take the place of the loss. The Number One Hyperactive Knuckleheaded Ninja as Kakashi had once put it.  
"They will be a two-man team until you find a suitable candidate for entry." Tsunade answered. Kakashi nodded.  
"It wasn't your fault." He told Tsunade. "There wasn't time…" She nodded slightly.

"The pieces of a broken life are hard to fit together again." Tsunade said to the crowd. No one was speaking otherwise. "In fact it is nearly impossible to do so alone. All we can do with our limitations is hope that someone comes to help put them back together. You never know what will become of those pieces. Whether they will become better than before or just as good. Those who give in are not weak. Sometimes wounds go too deep to heal. Sometimes the darkness just can't be beaten. We lost a ninja last week. The wounds he had were indeed too much to heal, both physically and emotionally. He was one of the strongest people I had ever met. But Naruto Uzamaki never had anyone to help him through his sorrows. As a child he had to deal with them alone and he believed that to this very day." She sighed and continued. "Many of you knew him… his teammates… his friends. What should we do now? The only thing we can do is pick ourselves up… comfort one another. And in the end, hopefully, we can all overcome the sorrow and sadness…"

THE END.

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Final Notes:

(1) Thanks to the creators of Naruto for a great Anime and Manga.

(2) Thanks to any who read the story over the uploading time. ;)

(3) History of Sorrow and Sadness

Originally the concept came into my head for no reason. I was reading the usual comedies here on Fanfiction and it just stuck there. I hadn't written anythingfor this place yet so I decided that I might as well. The original story ended happily with Naruto getting together with Sakura. I didn't feel that was right for the story as I was writing it and ended it with him leaving Konoha and not knowing whether he'd come back.

Well I uploaded the first few chapters but the story didn't seem to fit together. Too much seemed rushed and undone. So I rewrote all of chapters 5-10. This time I was pleased except for the little tweaks I was making with them before uploading. The ending was rewritten today on a notebook during school. Well I typed it out when I got home and uploaded chapter 9. As I worked out the bugs with Chapter 10 I couldn't help but feel this was the proper way to end the story. I don't know if you'll agree but that's how things are.

(4) Review Replies:

full-metal-sousuke: Now you have your answer I suppose. :)

Hikory: Well as you can see she didn't get punished twice as hard as Naruto. But she was aware of her mistake in the end.

ravemastaj: Well it's not a ritual...

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I don't know what I'll write next. Or if it will be anything like this. I usually write comedies or action/adventure stories. So this is really a new area for me to explore. Thanks for your replies everyone. 


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